rarararambles

maybe
you’re not looking for anyone right now
but how many more uses
can we invent out of the excuses
that “I’m sorry… we should just be friends”
because
times are tough
things are rough
all of those apologies that made us feel
like we were never beautiful enough
when beautiful is all we ever wanted to be

I would chop down my own family tree
to make paper and write out
a hundred different poems
explaining how beautiful you are to me
like your skin is where silkworms gather
to understand things like softness

you know I could go on
but I’ve been aboard that friend ship
for so long that I’m seasick and vomiting
over the edge while dreaming of mutiny
we live our lives under the scrutiny of a world
that rewards confidence over eloquence
but if uncertainty is the only thing keeping us apart
I want to hop that fence
strip you down to your confusions
and spend all night making…
sense to you

because if we’re not waiting
we’re
hesitating.

Shake Koyczan (via rarararambles)
feellng
And as for romance? Well, I want that too.
I want to fall asleep next to you, 100 times a night,
so I can know you 100 times better before we hit the day light. And despite all of this,
I also want amnesia so I can relive each kiss with a perfect newness
that leaves me smashed in the arms of rapture. I want the sky to fracture under
the impossible weight of an apology because I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I want so much.
I’m sorry that I’m using “I’m sorry” as a crutch to lean on for so long
but if you sing me that song of sweet logic again then I promise to make the effort
to stand on my own. There is a reason that our hearts are more like a muscle
and less like a bone. I’ve known so many people who’ve have grown up flexing
in front of mirrors and falling for their own reflection as if that’s adequate but that’s bullshit.
Because we only get now until the time we go and if they’ve only got time to love themselves
then nobody is going to be around to hear the sound of their heartbeat echo.
So lady, don’t expect an apology when I tell you I’m only held together
by a heart that pumps blue, it’s the strongest muscle in my body and I’m flexing it for you.
Shane Koyczan (via feellng)
wordsnquotes
I could build a future between your thighs
then look into your eyes trying to find
my own private history channel
with a life long documentary
on whether or not this was meant to be
and I don’t want to turn any of this into poetry
but
you’re so beautiful
flowers turn their heads to smell you.”

and when I’m all alone
I’m riffling through the pockets
in the back of my mind
trying to find spare excuses
so I can call you on the phone

and it’s strange
the way I need a reason
just to call you up and say
that I thought about you today
Koyczan, Shane. “Afraid.” Visiting Hours. (via wordsnquotes)